Yeah, it's just an ordinary Tuesday. Nothing extravagent occuring.
It's just a normal day.
Today marks half a year since my life has changed "fuheva" (forever to non...Guams)
Exactly six months ago, on May 25th,2008, I decided to goto a fun little picnic with my friend Dillon. And at this time, I had very poor intentions of going, which was to chat with Dillon about how many "nice girls" there were there. And so, Dillon and I spotted a bunch, and I was pleasantly surprised. Then, the adults called Dillon and I over to help with the scavenger hunt set up for the little kids. While I was conversing with Dillon, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around to this attractive girl. She was all giddy and peppy and asked me "You can do the Rubik's Cube?!". I was shocked she was talking to me, because I've...always distanced myself from pretty girls. Anyways, I tried to be cool about it, and just smiled and nodded, trying to contain my need to burst out in an immature fashion. SHe screamed for joy saying "OMG, I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE ACTUALLY DO IT!" and so I promised her I'd show her that I can do it, even though I didn't really rely on actually meeting her again. So, we broke off into our scavenger hunt groups and meandered about. I saw her group a few times, but she didn't talk to me again, so I figured "Oh, blah, she just wanted to talk to me because of my Rubik's skillz". After the hunt, I went with Dillon to the swings, because I figured she may come over since I've seen her at the swings oftenly during the picnic. So, I swung for a bit, and saw her and her friend, Becca, walking towards us, and in my mind, I was like "Score!". So, started walking towards us, while talking amongst each other, and I decided to not be my usual shy self, so I yelled "HEY!". She said "Hey" back and I felt accomplished (hah). They swung on the set of swings adjacent to Dillon and I, and I decided to be the cool guy and show off some of my money origami. So, as they conversed, I folded an elephant out of a spare dollar, and it very well impressed both of them; I felt really accomplished now. So, I started to converse with her (not Becca) and basically only found out she likes Asians, which also boosted my self confidence since I looked asian.
Her dad came by to say they were leaving, and so I felt sad because I thought that was the only time I'd ever get to see her. And so, I ended the conversation telling her my name, even though I didn't catch hers. But, on the car ride back home, I found out her name from Dillon's siblings, which I found out to be "aweshum" because its not at all common - I wasn't weirded out by it one bit. Her name was Saxony. Later that evening, I tried finding her on MySpace that night, but I failed. I then asked DIllon for her last name, and I instantly found her on Facebook. Shortly after, I found her on MySpace as well and friended her. I engaged some conversation with her and soon we advanced from MySpace Mail to MSN messenger. I got really excited, because I actually found a way to keep in touch with this girl Saxony, whom I've sorta....focused on all that week. As we continued to talk, she invited me to an event at her church the Saturday my summer break started and so I set myself to goto that event.
And so, because of this picnic, I focused myself on this one girl long enough to make a change in my life.
After the event, I started going to youth groups at Heritage Commnity Church and severn Christian Church, just to keep visiting Sax and her friends. After a [short] while, I got really interested in Sax, and told her straightforwardly that I started to like her. She said she felt somewhat the same way as well, and so I got really excited but nervous at the same time, because for the first time in my life, a girl I liked also started to like me back. So, throughout June, we gradually hung out more and more. We never actually got in a relationship, but we were a bit higher than "jsut friends". Then, her Puerto Rico trip came mid-July. We both saw it as hard to not contact each other for a week, but we kept up. And so, as she was in PR, I had to find thigns to do, so I did a few things with another guy, Nick. And so, that week passed by fairly quickly. She came back the following Monday - and I received a call from her. She called to tell me that she does not want to pursue anything higher than clsoe friends with me, which...was very sudden, and I fooled myself into thinking I was okay with it, and so I just kept a smile on and not really dwelled over it. Then, a few weeks passed and she was in Pittsburgh visitng her cousin and grandparents. I then realized I wasn't as okay with what happend as I thought, and then all the sadness that I tried to hide just exploded in me and I just melted. But, I tried not to show it whenever I went to youth group. She came back the last week of August and for the next two weeks - it was .. a sort of transitioning time. While she was gone, I started to get interested in another girl at youth, and when Sax came back, I feared she would be monitoring my every move, and so I just moped the entire night the wednesday she came back. And so, after that - I started to accept her decision to give up on becoming close with me, and I started to act normal again.
This was such a hard time for me, and although I fell, I got picked up again and just moved on. But some things still stuck that I still have to work on, so bwah dB
The next event that occured was Fall Retreat '08. We spent three days up in Summit Lake., and it was a very beautiful place. We all had lots of fun worhsipping together, sleeping together, eating together, playing together. We had gone a a hike, which was extended 45 minutes, but I found it to be a great thing, rather than exhausting, because I talked with some close friends longer, and I just enjoyed the whole hike very well. We also did a rope's course, in which near the end, we sorta...gave up on things - but it was still fun. I was being such a Guam in some of the challenges, and got a few laughs out of them, even though I got quite a few injuries like a snake-shaped bruise and falling on my head (hah, it felt...good after the pain? I dunno, I must be a masochist) Anyways, the most...wonderous thing I got out of this retreat, was Sunday morning, we had to burn our blocks of wood that we had been given the first day to write whatever keeps us from connecting with God. And, in that instance, I gave my life to Christ. It was ..... the most...incredible experience I've come across yet, and I just...can't describe my life now. It's like I was reborn, in a way. I couldn't have gotten this far without ever going to that picnic in May. And now, I'm just living my life every day trying to connect with God closer and closer and I just can't wait until the day I meet Him, to be engulfed by his power and holiness forever.
Gwah, and so, a bunch has happened within the past 6 months, so.....yeah - this was more or less just a .. "checkpoint" if you will in my life..a...reminiscing blog if you will.. Because there's only a "Snowball's chance in a cat scanner" of me experiencing anything like this again. CBB
Nice. It's good to see that you know that you've come far.
ReplyDeleteAnd LOVE the BBT reference, lol.